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Ephemera:   01 02, 03, 04, 05

The Ideal Companion

- a Succulent Plant

  • You can pick one up in most garden centres; it will always come home with you.
  • It will stay with you for many years, even a lifetime.
  • If you get bored with it, you can throw it out without repercussions.
  • You can sell it for more than you spent on it.
  • You can swap it for a different one.
  • It doesn't get jealous or sulk if you get another one.
  • It never goes through your phone / diary / pockets looking for evidence that you have another.
  • A succulent plant often becomes more desirable with age.
  • It never complains if you are out late.
  • It doesn't even remember its own birthday.
  • It doesn't expect you to buy it flowers. In fact it provides its own.
  • It doesn't care what sort of car you drive.
  • It doesn't make a silly fuss if your shirt has a button missing.
  • It doesn't run up a massive credit card bill buying shoes.
  • It doesn't expect you to buy it fancy drinks. A little rain water is just fine.
  • It never complains if you have another beer.
  • It never criticises your waistline.
  • It never makes any noise.
  • It always shares your taste in music.
  • It will not give you a nasty / embarrassing disease.
  • If it dies, there will be no awkward questions from the police.